"A. M Secrest, nearing 87, died this week after a long, cowardly, complaining battle with cancer. Secrest, from the moment he got the diagnosis, whined, complained, bitched and made life as miserable as possible for everyone. Never known as one who tried to make the best of a bad situation, but who loved to make the worst out of good ones, was so self-absorbed and obessive in his talk about his hard luck that people began to walk in the opposite direction as soon as they saw him come their way.
"Although his relatives might deny it, they too will be delighted when he has kicked the bucket, praying only that he has left some loot for them.
"As my father used to say when he had indigestion and found relief in resounding farts, no matter when or where he was or who heard it, always shouted out, "Thank the Lord for that," so I imagine my famiy and friends when they finally get the "good news," will echo that exact expression."