Lillian Secrest Buie's Weblog

A Funeral Director's Perspective on Lil Buie's Memorial Service

By Beacham McDougald, CFSP
McDougald Funeral Home

“I loved your mother’s memorial service!”

To no one’s surprise, Lil’s two daughters knew exactly what I meant.

            
Along with their other sister and brother, they had created a most memorable, unique and enjoyable memorial service for their mother. It fit her personality like her clothes. As a funeral director the memorial service was a moving and touching educational experience; exactly what the family wanted.

Lil was a very unique lady. For a large number of years she was a high school English teacher with a unique connection to her students. She knew that a few were gifted in creative writing; most could be taught the basic principles, and other struggled to write comprehensively. She knew that she was not a successful teacher if she did not connect with all of them. Lil was also ahead of her times in many ways, notably on social issues. In the rural South in the late 1960’s and early 1970’s, her positions on race earned her both praise and scorn. As times progressed, many of those who scorned her came to appreciate her visions and wisdom.

            
It is rare that a family is as prepared for Lil’s memorial service as were her children.

Happy Final Days

This photo of Lil and Eve was taken on Saturday night before Lil's death on Monday morning.

By Eve Vance Fleishman
Lil’s Granddaughter

In January, 2006 Mima told my aunt, Celeste, that she had a dream that I came to Wagram and performed a concert for her and her buddycakes. And every time I talked to her after that she’d ask, “When will you come?” Finally, the first weekend in June, I came.

We held a concert in the church sanctuary on Saturday night. Mima was just beaming. I feel she gave me an incredible gift to be able to tell you that her final days were happy days filled with love and song.

Late Saturday night after the concert, Mima wasn’t feeling so well and I stood by her bedside and sang to her while she appeared to sleep. When I started singing “The Way You Look Tonight,” she opened one eye and began singing with me. Then she told me that Gramps used to sing her that song. We held hands and kept on singing. Celeste walked into the room to hear Mima crooning, “tomato, tomahto, potato, potahto, let’s call the whole thing off.” We finished with "Amazing Grace" and "Danny Boy."

I kissed her goodnight and she said, “sweet dreams.”

That’s a night I will never forget.

Tributes & Farewell Words

Add your own memories or tributes in the "comments" section on this thread.

You're encouraged to leave comments so that we can get a discussion going. Additional tributes and words of farewell can be found on the McDougald Funeral Home site by clicking here.

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