Lillian Secrest Buie's Weblog

With Mother's Peaceful Death, A Prayer Is Answered

October 27, 1982: I am grateful that Mother took one deep breath, turned her head, and slipped easily into eternity, that she was surrounded by her own things and ina place she felt was home, that Hattie was standing by the bed speaking softly to her, that I kissed her goodbye this am, even though she seemed asleep and that I could kiss her still warm, peaceful face when I arrived from school just minutes after she died.

My prayer to be able to keep her at home and for death to come easily and painlessly have been answered, and through my tears I breathe a prayer of thanksgiving.

Thankful to be Over 50 And Still Someone's Child

May 7, 1978: When you're past 50 and receive a letter with the salutation, "My Dearest Child," you know that as long as your mother lives, you can again clasp hands with Peter Pan. Only Mother expresses concern that I'm overtired or under fed, seems to care when I've a cold in my hose or a pain in the head!

For over half a century, Mama Lessie has provided me that sense of being very special, a feeling of continuity, and now from her matriarchal seat she extends the same total acceptance and warmth to ten grandchildren and four "greats."

...How often I've heard Mother quote her mother as saying, "Old age is cruel." My grandmother decided in her despair that death at 58 was a better alternative to old age, but her daughters have grown old gracefully. Mother, the baby of the family, now approaches 86...

I think Aunt Eve would welcome death as a kindly friend (the gentleman of Emily Dickinson's poem) and perhaps she'll will herself to die. Not even death nor the Lord would block that will, for she could convince even the Almighty that He should act. However, her mind remains sharp and her interests keen, and those traits make one forget physical frailty.

September 22, 1982: the joy Mama Lessie takes in her grandchildren, and great-granchildren

When Dan Loomis was born 12 years ago today, Mother, already spirit-renewed from bouts of depression by lilttle Eve's arrival a month earlier, threw off the remnants of depression and reveled in the role of great-grandmother. Toddler Ted could enunciate "Mama Lessie," who became very much a part of the lives of another generation.

A few years later when baby Greg translated her special name into "Mama Yessie," she delighted in its appropriateness, for indeed she did "yes" any of her Greats' demands.

I'm so grateful that our grandchildren have added so much joy to her last years.