The Buie Knife

Should Parents Regulate Kids' Music Listening Habits?

A teenager enters your home or classroom singing, "I've got a passion in my pants and I ain't afraid to show it, show it, show it. I'm sexy and I know it..." from the group LMFAO. The popular music video for this song features porn star Ron Jeremy. Or maybe your teenager is singing "I just had sex and it felt so good" by The Lonely Island, another very popular song. How's a parent or teacher to react?

Parents have come a long way since worrying about the swivel hips of Elvis, the supposedly long hair of The Beatles or even a long way since Tipper Gore was criticizing Frank Zappa and trying to get warning labels and a parental ratings system on music CDs back in the 1980s. Since music is now mostly downloaded rather than sold in stores, ratings systems no longer work. Some of the most popular songs in the Apple Itunes store and on Youtube.com, like the ones I quote above, employ obscene lyrics and images in order to get teens' attention. An analysis of the top 10 music CDs in 1999 revealed that 42% of the songs contained very explicit sexual content, according to the National Institute on Media. Many songs also contain messages of violence, racism, homophobia, hatred toward women, and glorification of drug and alcohol abuse. 

The American Academy of Pediatrics observed in 1999:

A teenager's preference for certain types of music could be correlated or associated with certain behaviors. As with popular music, the perception and the effect of music-video messages are important, because research has reported that exposure to violence, sexual messages, sexual stereotypes, and use of substances of abuse in music videos might produce significant changes in behaviors and attitudes of young viewers.  

Another AAP study concluded that "youth who listened to more degrading sexual content...were more likely to subsequently initiate inter­course and to progress to more advanced levels of noncoital sexual activity.

Listening to music with degrading sexual lyr­ics is related to advances in a range of sexual activities among adolescents...Reducing the amount of degrading sexual content in popular music or reducing young people’s exposure to music with this type of content could help delay the onset of sexual behavior."

The study cites surveys in which "most sexually experienced teens wish they had waited longer to have intercourse; other data indicate that unplanned pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases are more common among those who begin sexual activity earlier. Popular music may contribute to early sex. Music is an integral part of teens’ lives. The average youth listens to music 1.5 to 2.5 hours per day. Sexual themes are common in much of this music and range from romantic and playful to degrading and hostile."

Jonathan McKee writes that kids who frequently listen to or watch trashy music have 

• an increased risk of developing beliefs in false stereotypes and an increased perceived importance of appearance and weight in adolescent girls


• an increased probability that they would engage in violence, a greater acceptance of the use of violence, and a greater acceptance of the use of violence against women


• an increased acceptance of date rape


• permissive sexual behaviors


• more accepting of premarital sex (specifically with those watching MTV)


• increased risky behaviors


• alcohol use

For a sample, McKee suggests parents "take a peek at the Black Eyed Peas music video for their seemingly innocent song, I Gotta Feeling, a video that maintained the number one spot on iTunes more than almost any other song in 2009. Videos like this are feeding our kids with lies that catalyst eating disorders (young girls trying to measure up), permissive sexual behaviors, alcohol use and other risky behaviors."

Parents shouldn't be afraid to inspect kids' music collection and to set ground rules, such as "that music doesn't belong in our house, on your phone or on your IPOD," he says.

Update: My teenage son initially accused me of over-reacting. "No one cares, Dad, except you." So I posed the question to my Facebook connections: "When a teenager enters your home or classroom singing obscene sexual lyrics from very popular songs, what's a parent or teacher to do?" 

One Turkish teen gave a conflicted response: "C'mon all teenagers listen these kinda music nowadays. Don't interrupt him, or join him singing :D just kidding, it is obviously disrespectful act. He deserves to be punished."

Another Turkish teen said: "Find a very popular but "proper and decent" song that could discourage them from singing the other song, and propose singing the specific song together :)"

A 21-year-old American girl wrote: "I think that the best thing to do is to say "This is neither the time or place for this. It is obscene and disrespectful." It is not good to go through their music and delete songs you think are inappropriate. Children and teens will learn all of these obscenities sooner or later. The best thing to do is just say "It's inappropriate. Please do not sing these lyrics out loud."

A middle-aged mom to a 21-year-old recommended ignoring it. "Ask them to join you in singing something else, a Christmas carol." She went on to acknowledge that "teenagers love to test the limits. That's what gives us gray hair." 

Another middle-aged mom was funny. "I recall saying I liked a particular song (catchy beat) and my son saying, 'Mom, do you know what they're saying?!!?' "

A middle-aged married woman, not a parent, empathized: "I had that problem with liile kids. They were singing Candy Shop by 50 cent. I told them that the song had a very bad meaning and that they shouldnt sing it. They of course wanted to know what the somg meant. I told them that I was too polite to tell them the meaning."

Three dads recommended intervention. One recalled what his father told him. "My dad use to say, as long as you eat here, sleep here, my house, my rules. This applies to all shared spaces. Respect." Another dad said he had the same rules. And a third summed it up this way: "We remember we are older, wiser, and have a better credit rating and assert ourselves. Society needs adults and teens just aren't there yet."

Update #2: After discussing this article with my son, he now says that that Lonely Island song is "dirty" and he no longer likes it. But he still likes the beat of the LMFHO song. 

Geography Lesson, Or The World As Seen By Some Americans

Hat tip, Robert Pettit. 

The US isn't the only ethnocentric country. AlphaDesigner.com has a clever collection showing how other nationalities, including Britain, Germany, France, and Greece, see the world. Having lived in Turkey, I particularly like the Turkish map, showing Syria and Lebanon as "stolen by the French," and Russia as the land of "sexy chicks." All the maps are worth perusing for a good laugh. I especially like Hitchhikers Guide to the Arab Spring, and US View of South America. As an American, the "Mainland USA Map" seems silly. As a North Carolinian, portraying my state on the map as "cancer factory" because it used to raise tobacco and used to be a big manufacturer of cigarettes seems so ignorant as to be insulting.  But perhaps that's how others react to Americans' stereotypes of their countries: they feel insulted. 

These maps are available as wall hangings and t-shirts. I might order some, from www.alphadesigner.com's mapping stereotypes project. Their online store is here.

Related:

• Meditating on What It Means to be an American
• Bigotry Rears Its Ugly Head
• Rick Steves on Travel as a Political Act: "Americans tend to be some of the most ethnocentric people on the planet. It's not just Americans, it's the big countries. It's the biggest countries that tend to be ethnocentric or ugly. There are ugly Russians, ugly Germans, ugly Japanese and ugly Americans. You don't find ugly Belgians or ugly Bulgarians, they're just too small to think the world is their norm."
• Americans Rank Next to Last in Knowledge of the World, according to National Geographic. Spending a few weeks in the states this summer, I had to consciously fight against the mindset that America is the center of the universe. My experiences as a world traveler tell me that the US most definitely is not the center of the universe, but US-based media certainly give me the impression that it is. Ours is such a huge country that domestic news fills almost all of the available time and space in a given day for news. I decided to forgo some of the endless chatter and speculation about the domestic scene and instead listen to PRI's The World, read The Economist and peruse National Geographic. To avoid an America-centric outlook, it seems to me you have to CONSCIOUSLY and DELIBERATELY CHOOSE to tap into international media and seek out international perspectives to avoid becoming ethnocentric.

The Challenges of Home-Schooling A 12-Year-Old While Living in Turkey

 

(Photo: Alex on an eight-mile hike through the moonscapes of Goreme, Cappadocia, Turkey. Story and slideshow about this extraordinary area and our hike here.)

We've had mixed results homeschooling Alex in the three weeks we've been in Turkey. Read about it. Your suggestions?

Resources for Homeschooling?

Looks like I'm going to be at least partially homeschooling our 12-year-old son while we're in Turkey for the next school year. This summer, I'm reviewing "What Your (First, Second, Third, Fourth, Fifth, Sixth) Grader Needs to Know" by E.D. Hirsch and the Core Knowledge Foundation, quizzing Alex on some of it, to see where he stands and what he still needs to know. Then we'll tackle middle school curriculum.

So-called Fiscal Conservatives Often AREN'T

Here's another example where so-called fiscal conservatives are actually profligate. Obama wants to replace subsidized student loan from private banks with direct loans from the government, saving taxpayers $94 billion over 10 years, the New York Times reports. Representative Howard P. McKeon of California, the senior Republican on the education committee, opposes the plan to eliminate profit-seeking private lenders, even though they've had to be be bailed out by the government.

Related:

• So-Called Fiscal Conservatives Want Billions for Unnecessary Defense Spending

Obama Already Impacting Black-White Achievement Gap?

Barack Obama may already be influencing the self-esteem, self-confidence, persistence, and test-taking results of young black students, according to this study. It would be amazing if this study is replicated broadly, and reflects more than a transitory trend. Worth watching.

Pick of Palin Highlights Republican Opposition to Teen Pregnancy Prevention

I like to listen to people I know who I deem "swing voters." My octogenarian mother-in-law is not a fan of Obama, but McCain's selection of Sarah Palin for vice president has put my mo-in-law firmly in Obama's camp. McCain's choice of Palin, she said, was "terrible." She thinks a woman with fIve children, one of them Down Syndrome, and with an expectant teenage daughter, ought not to be gallivanting all over the country running for vice president and preaching "family values" to others.

Older voters like my mother-in-law, who've expressed concern about Obama's lack of experience, are not reassured by the choice of Alaska Governor Palin, who just 19 months ago was the mayor of a town of 7,000 people.

It is, of course, Palin's choice to run, and if she were a man, she probably would not be judged harshly for her choice to put a career opportunity before her family if she were a man. And who's to judge whether she or her husband Todd are there for their children? Men can certainly be primary caregivers.

About one-third of girls in the United States get pregnant before age 20, according to the Centers for Disease Control. Here in North Carolina, about 60 percent of high school teens engage in premarital sex. Legislators are debating the effectiveness (or ineffectiveness) of abstinence-only sex education. One study by Rebecca Bach of Duke University indicates that "counties in which Abstinence-plus programs are used have experienced a greater decline [in teen pregnancy rates] than counties utilizing the Abstinence-only curriculum." 

In the Senate, John McCain opposed teen pregnancy prevention funding, according to the Associated Press, and Gov. Palin cut funding for teen moms. The Republican Party platform states that the "solution" to this epidemic is simply for all teens to abstain from sex. Teens should not be given access to birth control, and abortion should be outlawed. But a prime example of the failure of this public policy position is the family of the vice presidential nominee. One can only conclude that the practical impact of the Republican Party position is to INCREASE the number of children born to teenagers. I do not see this as good for families or good for society. Do you?

Drill Deeper:

• Pro-life and Pro-Choice Advocates Should Seek Common Ground
• Neither Scare Tactics Nor Denial Are Solution to High Teen Pregnancy Rates in U.S.
• Life Begins At Conception, a 'Culture of Life' Must Be Promoted, But the Death Penalty is a Good Idea
• Basic Incompetence from McCain (Andrew Sullivan)
• Obama's Experience Includes Beating the Clintons, by David Frum

Fewer Going to College As Costs Rise Rapidly

Important facts about access to higher education. Click.

Startling Statistics, Startling Contrasts in the Two North Carolinas. A National Problem

Even more now than when I was growing up, I notice that there are "two North Carolinas" -- the well-off, well-educated, business owners or professionals, and the struggling middle class and poor, less educated, who are either making no progress economically or losing ground, and losing what assets they've tried to build up. The rural areas have lost much of their commerce related to agriculture, manufacturing, textiles, and small retail. And now we're learning that suburban poverty is going up dramatically because of losses in manufacturing and textiles.

Nationally, 60% of high school graduates go on to attend college, while in North Carolina, just 40% of high school graduates go on to attend some college. And because rural areas have lost their economic power, they've lost political power, becoming dumping grounds.

In North Carolina as a whole, the number of people receiving food stamps has increased 30 percent since 2002. Some 43% percent of renters do not earn enough salary to afford a two-bedroom apartment without endangering their ability to pay basic bills (source). Too many people are struggling desperately to hold on to their rental units or homes. Home foreclosures have TRIPLED in eight years. As an example, In my native Scotland County, NC, home foreclosures have leaped from 62 in 1998 to 188 in 1996. One of the chief new industries is now a big PRISON near my hometown of Wagram, employing more than 400 people and housing 1,000 inmates. It in effect is replacing the Stevens' textile plant, which is closing, and 800 jobs are being lost. There is also talk of making Scotland County the site of a NUCLEAR WASTE DUMP. This must be fought. The county has a lot of strengths, that must be built on to attract new businesses, new people and to create a revitalized local economy.

Meanwhile, in the state's Triad region, suburban poverty has hit new highs, according to the Greensboro News-Record. A new report ranks Guilford, Rockingham and Randolph counties, but not including Greensboro --  among the top 10 regions in the nation with the most suburban poverty. due to textile and manufacturing layoffs. Rockingham County alone has lost more than 4,000 manufacturing jobs since 2000, the GNR reported. 

There's a good discussion of this issue on the blog of GNR editor John Robinson.

This is a national problem that the mainstream media hasn't adequately reported. Columbia Journalism Review Daily documents how the national media mostly ignored a major report from the Brookings Institution that more Americans now live in poverty in suburbs than in cities. It's about the rise in the formerly middle class sinking into poverty, and "signals the latest stage in the long-run decentralization of people and jobs in the United States." Brookings' report found that while the number of urban and suburban poor in the nation's 100 largest metro areas was about even in 1999, by 2005 the suburbs, with 12.2 million residents, contained about 1.2 million more people in poverty than central cities did. More.

21st Century Schools: Smaller, More Personalized Education

It's good to see my alma mater, Scotland High School in Laurinburg, NC, triumphing: Last summer, Newsweek highlighted the school for its innovative "21st century education system" -- academies, or small, specialized schools of no more than 400 students within the larger campus that houses 1,800 students, to stem drop-out rates, especially among ninth graders. Governor Mike Easley has also spotlighted the school. Scotland High is converted to six smaller, focused high schools such as the "School for Health Sciences" and "School for Engineering and Skilled Trades," by the 2007-08 school year. Listen to a WUNC public radio report about Scotland High School's innovative approach. Recently, Scotland County School Superintendent Shirley Prince was named Superintendent of the Year.